When the Helpers Hurt: What I Learned About Toxic Systems
- Sharisse Stephenson
- Nov 6, 2025
- 2 min read
💡 The Myth of the “System That Cares”
I used to think it was simple:
If you’re injured, you show your medical evidence.
You tell the truth.
And the system takes care of the rest.
That’s the story they tell you.
That’s the myth.
🧠 The Reality
The truth is far darker.
You get gaslit.
You watch decision-makers reach outside the record just to justify a denial.
You hear attorneys lie to your face, regulators look the other way, and judges issue rulings that make you wonder whether fairness ever stood a chance.
It’s one of the most shocking lessons I’ve learned through this process:
The enemy isn’t just the employer who retaliated or the insurer who denied the claim.
It’s the ecosystem that enables them.
The tribunals.
The legal system.
The attorneys.
The regulators who pretend to oversee them.
It’s a system that punishes anyone who dares to say:
“I was harmed, and I want accountability.”
🩹 When the Helpers Become Harmful
I thought I needed helpers — attorneys, regulators, “adults in the room.”
But the helpers weren’t helpful.
They piled on their own toxicity:
Dismissiveness. Arrogance. Condescension.
They called me confused.
They ignored motions.
They shut down valid complaints.
And that’s when I realized — I’d have to save myself.
⚖️ Learning to Fight Without the Cavalry
I taught myself the law.
I filed my own motions.
I took my case beyond local systems and into federal court.
I challenged institutions, not just individuals.
And somehow, I found a way to laugh in the middle of it — because if you don’t laugh, you lose yourself.
That’s the part nobody tells you: the psychological shift when you realize there’s no cavalry coming.
The helpers won’t help.
The regulators won’t regulate.
The system won’t check itself.
🔥 Why I Still Fight
And still — you fight.
Because if you quit, the system wins.
Because every motion filed, every post written, every voice raised cracks the illusion that “the system works.”
It doesn’t work.
Not yet.
But we’re not done trying.
✊🏾 Join the Phoenix Advocacy Network
📣 Follow PAN for stories from survivors of retaliation, discrimination, and systemic failure.💬 Share your story if you’ve been dismissed or disbelieved by a system meant to protect you.
🕊️ Support reform — because until accountability is real, justice isn’t.
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