I Survived What Killed My Colleagues
- Sharisse Stephenson
- Jan 7
- 3 min read
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This post discusses physician suicide, workplace retaliation, and moral injury. Please take care while reading.
I’ve lost multiple medical school classmates to suicide.
That is not a statistic to me. Those were people I studied with, trained beside, laughed with, and imagined growing old in medicine alongside. And after transitioning from private practice into an employed physician role, I realized — very quickly — how easily I could have become one of those statistics myself.
This didn’t happen because I was weak.
It happened because the system is.
When Asking for Help Becomes a Liability
When I realized I was struggling, I did what physicians are told to do.
I spoke up.
I told administrators I needed help.
I tried to access physician wellness and mental health resources.
What followed was not care.
It was chastisement.
Deflection.
Feigning confusion.
Subtle threats wrapped in professional language.
I was treated not as a physician in distress, but as a problem to be managed.
I Survived. Many Did Not.
I am alive today because of excellent psychiatric care, an intensive outpatient program, family support, and my faith.
That combination should not be rare.
Survival should not depend on luck, privilege, or proximity to care.
And yet, it does.
Too many of my colleagues never made it to treatment. Too many were punished for vulnerability. Too many were pushed to the edge by institutions that demanded limitless endurance while offering none in return.
This Is Not About “Resilience”
This is not a story about individual grit or self-care tips.
This is about moral injury.
A system that:
Punishes vulnerability
Treats physicians as expendable
Normalizes psychological harm
Demands silence in exchange for employment
We enter medicine to care for others — not to absorb sustained trauma without protection or recourse.
When systems inflict harm and then label the fallout as “burnout,” they erase accountability.
We Cannot Keep Acting Surprised
We cannot keep normalizing institutional abuse and moral injury — and then act shocked by the outcomes.
We cannot keep losing physicians and pretending the problem is individual weakness.
The problem is structural.
The harm is real.
And the cost is lives.
🩺 If You’re Struggling Right Now (Please Read)
If this post is hitting close to home, you are not alone, and help is available right now.
Immediate Support (U.S.):
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988 — 24/7, confidential, free
Physician Support Line1-888-409-0141
Free, confidential peer support from trained physicians
If you are outside the U.S., please reach out to your local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.
Your life matters more than any job, contract, or institution.
You Are Not Alone — Others Are Speaking Too
This conversation started on LinkedIn, where physicians and healthcare workers are sharing their own stories of harm, survival, and loss.
👉 Read and add your voice here:
The silence breaks when we speak together.
Resources for Physicians, Patients, and Retaliation Survivors
If you or someone you know needs support, advocacy tools, or guidance related to physician mental health, retaliation, disability rights, or workplace harm, visit:
👉 Phoenix Advocacy Network - Resources https://www.phoenixadvocacynetwork.com/resources
This page is continually updated with support options, advocacy guidance, and crisis resources.
Call to Action
If you are a physician struggling in silence: you are not broken — the system is.
If you are a leader, administrator, or policymaker: stop punishing vulnerability and start protecting it.
If you have lost a colleague, friend, or classmate: say their name and demand change.
👉 Share this story
👉 Check on the physicians in your life
👉 Refuse to normalize moral injury as “part of the job”
Survival should not be exceptional.
And silence should never be the price of staying alive.
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